Swift.

Did I complain about life being too slow? Did I compare it to the speed of a snail's marathon race? I should have chosen my words more carefully, rather fruitfully, for now I have to eat them. It is time for a new analogy. Oh yay! This time around, I would compare my life to a red blood cell. Fast, bloody and renewing.


Fast:
A ninja is probably the epitome of swiftness and speed for most people. For people who aren't living what I'm living. For every second of this journey is totally different and unrelated to the preceding moment. The thrill of awaiting for what is to come next is comparable to a person suffering from vertigo at the edge of The Empire State Building. Not for the faint-hearted, not for them shroom high frat boys.
I currently have my examinations, and truth be told, they aren't seeming all that stressful to me. They never did, but this time I confront them with an attitude of a Type B personality. however, this being all easy going and all that, how is my life on the fast lane? This would be the result of the other half of my daily routine, the visa application. It's a long, tedious task and sucks the blood out of you, but yet it's quite enjoyable. And I don't get a break to catch. Also my social life takes a beating in the process, but I don't really seem to mind. Anti-social, withdrawn, hermitlike.

Bloody:

This word I like. Purely because of the word references my mind formulates, and not because of the gore it suggests.

1) The British Bloody: I love the British accent. It is SO cultured and and sounds brilliant. This coming from a guy whose people were under the British Raj for more than 200 years. So coming back, the only reason my mind makes the reference is because of the style the Britishers pronounce the word. 'Bluoodiee" to my ears.

2) Music lyrics reference: Some of my favorite songs contain the word blood or one of it's derivatives.

a) Sunday Bloody Sunday: U2

b) Blood Sugar Sex magik: RHCP

c) Too Much Blood: Rolling Stones

d) Blood: My Chemical Romance

And the sort.

And how does it pertain to my situation? I bloody don't know.

Renewing:

Skin renews over time. So does most of our other physical aspects. My does life get renewed? Is there a check point, a save mode in our lives? Do we get a second chance? We do. Erase previous lives and modes. Start with one heart (reference to The Legend of Zelda) and collect more on the way. Form new bonds, but treasure those closest to you. For one can have many friends, but one can only have a few backbreaking compatriots. And over my extensive life of 19.8333 years, I have learnt a lot about relationships. Baba Sehgal is brilliant and all, but he makes a point with this line: Relevant darwaze mind ke kholo (Open relevant doors of your mind).  Your mind may go 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' at this moment, but it's true.

It's essential for me to keep all my options open, renew the contracts of many a friendships, not only for my egoistic, self satisfying self but also for the better person I wish to be.

Other news: You have to see this and this and follow him. For you life will be brilliant and racist.

Also, I had a haircut recently and I look like Spock. So much so, LB made a crude picture about it.

Live Long and Prospa', you don't want me to use mah muthafuckin' trigga'!

Empty.

Today I sound like a BIG GIRL.
Emptiness is an absence. It is a feeling that makes your heart drop and everything shatter around you. A farce of life that isn't so funny after all. Am impression that leaves you feeling hollower than The Hollow Man.
  
Something of the sort happened with The One. A particular piece of information made The One drop everything and leave The One's mouth open. For The One is not a man that is easily shaken (some tense of shake) by news delivered to The One, but this wasn't one of those moments. For the news was about a part of The One's past, an important part to be honest. And The One forbids me to write anything further, so this shall be it. But I know you can totally get what I'm referring to, so it's k. if you don't, well then, don't feel disappointed, go out and Carpe Diem. 


As you would've heard this countless times before, I shall still write it: The glass is not half empty, it's half full. But The One fails to see the fuller part of the glass. Don't blame The One at all, for the break up was the strangest yet not uncommon of the lot. and The One took it pretty hard in the beginning. Recovery is a long process, and it had been pretty bang on success, with a few hiccups in the middle. But today's incidents kind of make the situation a little worse. I, as a close companion, would suggest nothing less than a 'tap-that-ass' strategy, but who am I to douse the fire that resides within the One's 'jigar'. Or WrigglyPoo's suggestion to let life live, take it's own course and decide was the ride worth the effort. Wriggles and her philosophies, meh.


The One seems to have been noticing other fairer forms, I won't lie. However, there hasn't been the same connection he felt with The Ex. There have been progressive signs with a particular maiden (The Girl), but The One hasn't 'pursued' her so to speak. Nothing at all, nada. He hasn't asked for her phone number, which most people do within the first meeting itself. Has The One been broken? Has the emotional structure been faulty since? Who knows, time will tell.


Please take out time to read FingerBoy's blog. It's cool and refreshing and awesome and mah gawd.


Until then, YOLO. Not You Live Only Once, but You Obviously Lack Originality.

Childhood.

The period in everyone's life that returns when they want it to return and yet it's not the same.
It's that moment when all inhibitions are lost, when envy was a word that didn't exist. A time when we didn't have our separate lives, and you and I were the same entity. A time where a moment of happiness lasted for days, and a moment of despair lasted a few seconds. No boundaries, no ropes that could bind us, apart from an odd scolding or two. An era that one wishes he/she never leaves, a time everyone wants back. Somewhere along the lines of growing up, childhood is a preserved toy that you seem to forget where you kept it.


Why this sudden epiphany, you ask? I stumbled upon a video of one of my most revered cartoons, The Rugrats. I remember the time when my sister and I would glue ourselves in front of our telly to waste spend our leisure time. As they say, time isn't wasted if you had fun wasting it. Though now the popular belief is that time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted. <-- Fail in my opinion.


I remember the numerous occasions when the two siblings used to fight over what channel to watch. Though the reason of the fight is still the same, but yet it's different. For earlier, the fight would resolved as soon as it started, and now it's never ending. We're drifting from what we started, so I shall try restoring normality again. Childhood is not merely a word, neither is it just something someone would mention in passing. It is an emotion that gives you a high and activates your Serotonin and Melatonin depending on the time of the day.


THIS you need to watch. And then watch the relating videos. And then you need to watch the recommended videos.


Lately a lot of blogs or posts on the net are bringing the 'actual' concept of the cartoon. For example, those familiar with The Rugrats see it as show full of adventures the babies in the show go through. But a recent article I read had the caption 'Childhood ruined' and says that the show is a figment of Angelica's imagination, Chucky died a long time ago and hence Chaz is a nervous wreck all the time. Tommy was a stillborn and hence Stu is constantly in the basement making toys for a son who never lived and The DeVilles had an abortion, and hence Angelica couldn't decide whether the child was a boy or a girl and hence created twins. Childhood truly ruined.

REPTARRRRRR

Come and go.

People come and go.

Memories come and go.

Experiences come and go.

Days come and go.

Times come and go.

YOU come and go.

What stays constant? Change.

Somethings don't change. And I'm grateful they don't. Alpha Sierra is one of them. The other is a character I was dying to introduce. let's call him PattaKaat or PK.

These two people in my life won't change, I can bet everything on it. And it's because they won't change is why I love them so much.

You know about the eccentricities of Alpha Sierra.

PK is a completely different character in all sorts from AS. He's charming to them ladies, a stud if you may call him. A die hard SRK fan, and imitates him to the T. He's a master at teaching the guys how to cock block each other, often giving advice to both parties. A dark personality when I met him, he's quite grey now to be fair. Grey-er than the colour of the text, yet sometimes whiter than a ghost.

PK was a loner when I met him, often staring into the sky, something on his mind. And AS and I would take the credit of turning him into the person he is, though some credit goes to another someone. More on that later.

As I have already emphasized it countless times before, they're the other two compatriots to my Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. They're the Hrithik Roshan and Abhay Deol to my Farhan Akhtar.

left to right: PK, Yours Truly, AS

I chose the worse picture we had together. Why? Because that's how I roll.

Times will come and times will go, and I can count on these two fo sho.

Simplicity.

Less is more. Simple and sleek is in. Uncomplicated is passe, whereas it should be the one thing one should strive for. However, is it the case? I believe not.


The simplest of relationships are tagged as 'complicated'. Even our Himesh Reshamiyya made a movie called Radio (Of the 'Mann ka radio, bajne de zarra' fame) had the tagline 'it's complicated'. What is wrong with today's film industry? Are themes like these supposed to work? fail brah.


Things that should be simple: Football and life. that is how God, I say as an agnostic, intended. Lead a simple life they said, it'll be easy they said. They were wrong (people who aren't aware of this meme). It was easy, a few centuries back, I reckon. Or I believe, every generation has it's own share of complications. I like contradicting meself, questioning and cross questioning. It's a nice kind of food for thought. Keep thy mind young.


The One faces a similar dilemma. The One wants to make The One's life uncomplicated, simple, peaceful. But is The One able to walk the talk? The answer would be affirmative.  The One is taking measures, slowly yet steadily. today, The One told me he will wear The One's calm and composed game face. And that game face is so effective, it shows results of epic proportions. I believe we are going to witness a new chapter in history, wherein The One is going to play his biggest gambit yet. The One is going to sacrifice a bit of his sane mind to fit in with The Posteriors. And in doing so, The One sees a short term future of madness within himself and a long term process of understanding human psychology. The One takes this experience as an experiment of sorts, and if you can imagine it, and will solve a couple of issues The One's been having. Imagination is the key, optimism is the fuel and an outburst is the antidote. A psychological-medical endeavor where the results determine both the pros and cons, and depending from the perspective you see the results from, they might not even make sense to you.


I believe The One has a posse of his own: MM, LB, faujistan, PS and I.
Yes PS is a new character, a fun loving at that. He's one of the most genuine persons I've met and is a great asset to have. brilliant character, that guy.


The day was better than usual. Good times. And this day is one of those days you'll remember, even though nothing out of the blue took place.


Also, Wriggles and The One have someone new to bitch about. Such girls I tell ya. But your precious time is precious to me, and I won't bore you with the details. Epic gossip is epic.

Me (extreme left) with a couple of characters. Good times.

Also, I have a friend who has pockets 10 meters long on her boxer. Wow.

Failure.

For those who know, and for those who don't, The One and I are avid football fans. And typically, Liverpool FC fanbois.


This season has been bad. And the previous line was an understatement. It has been pathetic to say the least.
The main reason we have failed this year? Finishing issues. This season we have hit the woodwork a mean 30 times. Some might say it's unlucky. The One used to believe the same. But unfortunately, it isn't. It is a result of bad finishing at large.


Some may believe King Kenny's second homecoming as manager didn't click. False. If you see LFC's game, it has been fantastic. The tactics have worked. Only the magnitude of our mistakes have overshadowed our hard work. It's sad, very very sad.
I do not care about the league anymore. I care about the FA Cup, and God help us, if we win, I'll run semi nude in my society.


Until then, YNWA. In Kenny, we trust.

This Is Anfield. LFC TILL I DIE.

Let the winds sway.

Through the carcass one could see,
The shimmer of glitter from the force,
For one is always looking out for the key,
In the sands of time could shout out hoarse.


She travels far and wide for love,
Only to disappoint herself even more,
The burning desire was kept secret in the cove,
Tucked inside the corners of her core.


He needs to play the role of a breadwinner,
And might resort to every crook and sin,
For he is the world's softest sinner,
And strives for that lonely heart to win.


They need to survive and rise like The Phoenix,
And be together like lies and sorrows,
Rush past through life's every obstacle and every fix,
For who know what might bring them successive tomorrows.


They get together and bind themselves with affection,
And raise their kids for a better future,
However, let's take a survey or election,
Was it worth the matrimonial suture?


In the night when the wolves will howl,
And when the gnomes in the gardens play,
A monk will step out in a cowl,
And wish that the winds would ever sway.

Emotions.

Emotions are psychological measures that affect behavior and actions.

Emotions are what drive us and what drive us astray.

Emotions range from the mundane to the bizarre.

You are the emotion, the emotion is you.

The One is going through a lot of different emotions. From the mundane to the bizarre, from the surreal ones to the painful ones. Emotions are governed by internal factors as well as environmental factors. So are The One's emotions, for he is human, the humanest of all beings. The One may not let you believe that; he may act aloof and indifferent but he is a textbook Cancerian, for what's it worth.

The One tells me The One has a lot on his plate, from examinations to entertainment, from helping his mother to finding love in a dark world, The One's got it all. And along with these tides come a wide range of often belittling emotions that make the ever so 'God-like' creature as The One an ordinary sparrow finding his way in this world.

It's easy to prioritize, but is it that simple of a guy like The One who's mind is like a cornucopia of information and distractions? Is it easy to cope up with what one might think as child's play but is in fact a Herculean task for The One? What goes through the cognitive branches of the brain that makes the situation adaptive and not succumb to the expectations of others and oneself's? What makes us drink up our fears and survive the crime scenes of our courage? What makes up swim across deep waters of despair and give us the ability to stand like a flamingo over these waters?

It's hope and belief. It's the strive for a better future, a better stand and a better surrounding. it's what all of us aim for and a few of us attain. It's the stability of our emotions, and the nerves of steel, the eye of the hawk, the strength of an ant (to size) that makes us fly right through the hardships and disappointments like Moltres. It is like the game of Battleships. it's luck, but also it's strategy. Strategical approaches to one's task would be effective. For luck favors the brave, and the brave have strategies.

The obstacles may be diabolical, downright difficult, and you'll need numerous tries and retries, but something remains constant. It's our emotions. Emotions may flicker, may leave us in times of need, but is always inside us. It's the chains of fear and letting down that act as Satan's weapons, but our emotions are our Holy water. We have to be the Constantines of our lives, go to hell and back, and see what's the worst that can happen to us. And more often than not, it's not that bad. it's the perspective, it's the vision.

For this too shall pass, quite the contrary to Gandalf's authority. Though you have to choose on of the the three options depending on your situation. Works 99% of the time.

Just a day.

The One and I have a lot on our plates. So much so, I forgot to write this post.
Today, nothing extraordinary took place. Nor did anything bought my blood pressure up. It was one of those days that aren't memorable. It was just a lazy, Garfield sort of day. Just a day that came. Just a day that went. Just a day no one will remember.


I made two high scores on my iPad.


The One and MM are the real deal. They arrive for their exams together, give their exams together, and they leave their exams together. It may sound creepy, but trust me it's not. For they realize the importance of not waiting alone in the corridor. The importance being boredom.


This you need to watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0&feature=endscreen
It's important. And it's brilliant.


College is going to be over soon. Let's see whether the vacations are something to look forward to or not.


Something's weird going around me. I have been noticed by people at a particular area lately. Near The Bristol. I have been told on three separate occasions today. It's weird.


My hands smell like soap.

A sauced up affair.

Things haven't been quite the same. There are so many parallel stories to keep track of, and I quite have managed to embed them in my mind for this post. I'm hoping.


So yesterday was an eventful day to say the least. In chronological order:
1) College.
2) Meet an old friend and hitching up a ride till Delhi Cantt. to meet Faujistan.
3) Helping LB's case + WrigglyPoo's shock.
4) Meeting TweetTwit after all.
5) Meeting Faujistan's friends. A whole huge mention is necessary.
6) Champion's League viewing with the dost log.
7) More LB and Wriggles.
8) Screw ups.
9) Siesta.


Quite a handful/mouthful.


1) College.
I went to college with MM and The One, as usual. We attended classes, bunked a few and had a regular banter with the others. LB and Wriggles were present along with SS, and it was an alright affair so to speak.


2) Meet an old friend and hitching up a ride till Delhi Cantt. to meet Faujistan.
I finally met SS's cousin after a long time and it was a brilliant reunion so to speak. That rich ass jerk had to buy a shitload of Apple products, and was kind enough to give The One and I a ride to the Indian Army residency: The Delhi Cantonment. Fun shit.


3) Helping LB's case + WrigglyPoo's shock.
The One had a brilliant idea. He took my phone and texted LB to call me on a particular number. And who might that number belong to? None other than WrigglyPoo. For those who aren't the brightest of tubelights, LB was and is infatuated to ol' Wriggles. and The One had already confessed it to her, LB being quite unaware of the fact. I like The One's manipulative yet non-malicious mind after all.


4) Meeting TweetTwit after all.
Faujistan, The One and I kept brushing aside TweetTwit purely because he's an idiot. He went to a gaming parlor and kept bugging us to come there. And after an hour of convincing him that we were on our way, we felt sorry for lonely butt and did finally go. And came back after 10 mins. Such a waste of time and energy. But this is an integral part of the story. Patience dear readers.


5) Meeting Faujistan's friends. A whole huge mention is necessary.
This is probably the best story of the lot. After leaving TweetTwit, we went to meet a friend of Faujistan's. Let's call her JaatBoi. And to leave no stones unturned, she's infact a chick. Sorry, a girl. It's wrong to objectify women. The One and I had heard she's quite the awesome person, and no don't doubt she is; we just failed to see it. But it's okay, probably she thought we were weird and obnoxious as well, so it's cool. After the meeting, we had to meet another female. Let's call her ComfyDrunk or CD. faujistan called her through my phone and as soon as he heard her intoxicated tenor, he handed the phone to The One. 


Sidebar: CD and Faujistan have been friends since a long time. Back to story.


She didn't recognize the difference in the voices of The One and Faujistan, and kept asking The One whether if she should sleep in the bathroom or not. Disappointing. We called up TweetTwit to join us for dinner and headed to his place. He had been starving for Dimsums, but Faujistan, the owner of the vehicle had said no. So we reached back to Faujistan's base, and we about to go up when CD calls faujistan again, asking him to meet her and make her sober. TweetTwit, being witty sometimes, stated what Faujistan had stated in his Guest Post: Brethren before wenches. I applaud him.
Now comes the saucy part. CD, in our opinion, wasn't drunk. She might have been a little high, but not drunk to say the least. TweetTwit asserts the fact for he's a semi pro. and The One told us that he's a semi pro for being around inebriated people.   
The One, The One tells me, had high regards for CD through previous interactions with her. And now The One had totally lost faith in The One's ability to judge people.
Pity.
And And, she was speaking to her friend on the phone. She addressed her as, "Hey beb". HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. TweetTwit and I had the most amazing time imitating that sentence.
6) Champions' League viewing with the dost log.
After the aforementioned disappointments, all of us had dinner at Faujistan's. His mum is a brilliant cook, I forgot to mention. After dinner, we went to buy refreshments for the much awaited Bayern Munich vs Real Madrid encounter. Here TweetTwit was duped by a couple of 7 year olds and was the laughing stock for quite a period. We were joined by another friend, and we watched Bayern whoop Madrid's ass, right, left and center. Blissful moments these.


7) More LB and Wriggles.
After a half night's sleep at the Cantt. I left for college, where awaited saucier encounters. LB had read out a few of his poems to Wriggles. He had never showed any of his of his penmanship to any of us. I believe, is this the real life, or is this just fantasy. I LOVE QUEEN! And when MM, The One and I went to meet WrigglyPoo with LB, there was a tension in the air. A tension no one minds, a tension that serves as sweet pain. WIN.


8) Screw Ups.
Our college is quite a fuck up. We were suppose to do a course in Summer before leaving for The US. And our authorities decide not to offer it. why? Because they don't wish to. End of story. Tata. Sincerely, Mofos of the Century. FAIL.


9) Seista.
ZZZZZZZZZZ.

That's what she said.

Today was a very different day. It had it's ups and it's downs, but gravity wasn't enough to bring me down.


The day started with all of us appearing for for our Business Ethics exam. A major part of us didn't like the subject, but we scraped through it only because of the utter attractiveness of our teacher. So we have a 'Main Hoon Na' kind of a situation here. With multiple SRKs and only one Sushmita Sen.
However, we took our exam somehow, and then The One and I were freeeeeeeeeee! So how do we spend our time while the others giver their exam?

With TweetTwit, Faujistan and WrigglyPoo of course! We had immense fun, taking each others case, talking about football and just messing around with ol' Wriggles! We were later joined by MM and LB, and it became a whole lot better.
But then something out of the blue happened. MM and WrigglyPoo have some differences that none of us are aware of. And this tends to bring up a verbal duel none of us were expecting.
It started out as a 'yo mama' contest, with me, The One, LB and TweetTwit egging them on to a 'oh no he/she didn't' to 'that's what she said' contest! The One and I were barking like hound dogs to up the enthusiasm, whereas TweetTwit became silent and LB had nothing else to do but admire his hands. The smack talk soon ended, and we went on to our separate junctures.


So if MM and WrigglyPoo read this, I have a question to ask: What the hell yo? I mean The One did his best to smooth things out and make it a light hearted affair, but something seems to be out of place.


Also, WrigglyPoo will be punished. The frappe on hair incident isn't forgotten. Not by a long shot.


Things with The Posteriors have been dealt with quite the ease says The One, the solution being speak when spoken to. I don't think it's a bad idea to start with, but These guys have the knack to smell out the bad from the worse. Let's see how long until they notice.


I just remembered. The One's love life has taken a twist. The One is no more infatuated. So The One tells me. What is with the sudden change of heart? I believe there is more to the story than I know.


On the other hand, LB tells me that HE IS INFATUATED. As The One says, "Mera sher bada ho gaya!". I would agree with The One's exclamation. Those aware of LB's situation is happy for him. The only problem LB needs to address to is growing a pair. A nice ball sac.


In the words of Tyga is Potty Mouth:

Better man up, it's about to go down. Leave you with jaw dropped, face of the ground.

Peace.

The One is an evil man. The One didn't go to Moonface's birthday. And The One didn't let me go as well. How is that possible? Are we the same entity? Alas for you readers, we're not. We are two separate entities with separate emotions and thinking processes. If that's not good enough, we even sleep at different times. On the other hand, The One didn't wake me up in the morning and I missed the celebrations.


That's not all. As far as the tradition of calling up people at 12am on their birthdays go, The One kept me occupied with Superman/Batman: Public Enemies movie so after which I dozed off and missed the whole thing. And on top of that, The One used my phone and texted her a 'Hey happy birthday'. Talk about emotions and sensitivities.


So I missed the cake. But what The One assured me compensation: peace. I had quite the peaceful morning, a sleepy/studying session of an afternoon and a brilliant evening. What makes the evening so brilliant? IPL and Science would very well be the answers.


IPL has had it's fair share of criticism. But you cannot deny that it is pure entertainment. A non-cricketing fan would be an instant viewer. AND SCIENCE. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF SCIENCE! rather, I can't get enough of Physics. And why I can't get enough of it? Because it's limitless and complex. The complexity is what makes me fap to it.

And if you've been following the Indian news, you would've come across the name of Nirmal Baba. He is the con of a preacher who gives the people the vaguest of solutions to their problems and has been in the dock for cheating his followers and hoarding vast amounts of money.

Take some food for thought ( It's pun time!)

Random person: My wife and I have been married for the past two years and we haven't conceived as of yet though we've been trying. (The One laughed hard at the latter part.) What do I do?
Nirmal Baba: Eat 4 samosas with green chutney and also give samosas to 4 of your neighbours with the smae chutney. you'll soon have a child.

If that doesn't make you go 'dafaq?', you should get yourself checked or stop following the baba. What have you been smoking, Nirmal?

Now you wonder why I would jump from one discussion to the other? Here's the connection.

Science is based on facts, Nirmal Baba's views are based on imagination of obscurity. In the modern world, where one believes what one sees, one also believes in the baba's methodology And they also believe in religion. Idol worshiping has been there for ages and I'm okay with it, but the limits one believes in the supernatural is appalling to say the least.

For The One and I,  Science is our religion and we have a little fewer gods than Hinduism. About 329 999 980 less.

And we have our fair share of pick up lines. If you get picked up, you're my type. If you don't, you may still be my type and I'll be condescending and a little bit abashed.

Another photo I came across that made me worship my religion even more:

Neil deGrasse Tyson, my man. You're brilliant. And if you ever read this, I do not blame you for the Pluto Incident.

In other news, Liverpool FC are now in the finals of the FA Cup, right on the eve of the Hillsborough Incident. JFT96.

Reminiscence.

I believe you, the readers, are now well aware of the characters in this story. All thanks to the genius of the Guest Week. Never fail to impress, do I?


Coming back to real time, so to say, The One has a few stories to share. Stories from The One's school days, stories from down the memory lane. So I stand corrected. We come back to the past. Specifically The One's past.


The One had a Wolf Gang at school. And The One, more often than not, believed The One was the Big Wolf. And it didn't matter to the others, as they had the notion of themselves being the ringleader as well. The gang consisted of seven members; Alpha Sierra was one of them members. The Gang had been together for the whole of  high school, and I kid you not, they still catch up regularly through SNS, phone calls and the during the summer break without fail.


And you better believe me when I say that they are probably best people to hang with. Because I  have hung out with them. And as Alpha Sierra, being an avid Barney Stinson fan, would say 'The sessions were legen-wait for it-dary'.


There have been moments, low and high, but the Wolf Gang stuck together. They might have gone their separate ways, different colleges and have different lives, but when they meet up, it's the same old zealous atmosphere that existed when exams used to get over.


I have been a part of their after exams celebrations. And the ingredients of the party were simple: DVDs, chips, cola, pizzas and a 52/104 pack of cards. Nothing more, nothing less. And to be fair, no addition or subtraction to the recipe would have made the dish better. Because once you have tasted this gourmet, nothing ever tastes the same.


The One often goes nostalgic when he gets these flashbacks because, quoting David Guetta, those will be the best memories, The One tells me. And to feature one of these memories would be foolish (The One's very words) because 'Out of the cauldron I call recollections, each bubble represents a gift of experience that is worthless without the whole packaging'.


Nevertheless, he recounts many of the moments the gang have had with a tear in The One's eye. I, being the keen listener that I am, couldn't get enough of The One's stories. They were captivating, yet subtle; engrossing yet thought-provoking, and as enjoyable as the adventures of Tintin. I had been a good audience till I had a question that broke all hell loose; why the sudden overwhelming nostalgia?


And so began the rant we (you) had been waiting for. I was at the end of the outburst that you're going to read now.


"I have had enough of their douchebaggery. I absolutely cannot stand their presence. I am disgusted by their mere vibe and God help my case if I snap, somebody's gonna get hurt real bad." His outburst had a Russell Peters reference. By golly.

The One added, "I never used to get pissed off or have headaches ever. I had the emotions of a schizophrenic in a cloud castle. However, with these damned children, they are a regular occurrence. This never happened at the Wolf gang. It was unacceptable by all means."


And then followed a series of profanity that lasted longer than the periodic table. Longer, more acidic or basic (whatever is your chemical tendency), and heavier than yo mama. This was the angriest I had seen The One ever. And I've known that man ever since he was born. I don't remember his exact words for The One tends to murmur under his breath, but I'm pretty sure it included defiling someone's female family members through means unacceptable. I reiterate, by golly.

And then The One proceeded for his slumber. Without apologizing. Rude and shall be dealt accordingly.
I resumed my downloading fest. DC Animated movies, Wayne's World, The Breakfast Club, Yellow Submarine goes the list.


In other news, tomorrow is Moonface's birthday. The One is indifferent and may not even wish her. I will have to do it on his behalf. And The One has marked no as his RSPV to her celebration and might convince me to do the same. I will miss the cake. I love cake. Damn you, The One.

Tere liye jhumoon deewana ban ke, tere liye. - Faujistan

Well to start off this entry , which brings end to the guest week, I’d like to start with a quote.
A wise man once told me “Brethren before wrenches” (hahahahahaha) and that ass was this guy PD. Although he’s half the man he thinks he is and he isn’t that wise either, though if we compared the lot we hang with, or should I say “Kick Back” with, I’d call him the wisest, but I believe that sometimes he should take my advice, no-matter how crappy it is. ‘Cause Faujistan, (that is what he’s named me, can you beat that FAUJISTAN!) says so. Not drifting away from what I want to write, I’d like to dedicate this post to the ”Michael bay meets Anthony” chum that I know (trust me , mujhe bhi naam samajh nai aaya tha). 

I don’t remember how we met and to be honest I don’t care either, because every day since that day we’ve made each day memorable or at least few of them :P ; some of you might laugh off to the  double meaning  thoughts in your head, so let me tell you, there was action and a lot of it .

It’s very rare to find a guy like him, with simplicity of a saint, a brain like how every 19 year olds should be, which is very hard to find in our college at least and the attitude which is neither egoistic nor kiddish but somewhere in the middle. There are many things I’d blabber about and all in good faith about him but that isn’t what all he is, there is a different side to this chottu with long, receding hairline. Which go as follows;

1)  He speaks in his sleep and not that he murmurs or anything , he’ll ask you questions and questions you won’t have answers for.

2)  He might laugh with you and shit, and you might think you’ve left him impressed or something; agar tumhe kuch aisa lagta hai na toh beta bahut badi galat family hai . Baad mai tumhaari ass le lega.

3)  He has a habit of keeping his hair in shape, shakal ko kuch ho na ho, ek baal idhar udhar nahin hona chahiye. Ladka hai to he ye haal hai , ladki hota, toh pata nai kya hota.

4)  Saala itna aalsi hai, ki apni chotti taangon ko kasrat nahin deta. Every place will always be too far if he doesn’t want to go.

5)  He has this habit of watching dirty pictures alone but he will refrain from the fact in public.

6)  Sometimes when he laughs, he’ll laugh so hard that you’ll stop laughing, observe him and wonder whether the joke was worth it .

No matter how he is , or no matter he’d turn to be , the amount of love and respect I have for this guy will never be less than now, that is if he gets all the stuff I order along with him , warna kaisa pyaar kaisi dosti. I want to thank him for being the brother I always wanted and for being there with me in my hardest moments till date , because he has been one of the people who’ve held me strong and hard when I was too brittle .

Man I’ll miss those days out in the sun, when the British accent was such a good pun.

You shaked your ass and I shaked my bootie,

All we looked for were hooottiies.

Yaar ab aur likhunga toh rona aa jaayega . :’( 

I wonder when, I wonder why... something something... blue blue sky - MuscleMan

So, guest week, guest blogs, no editing, ehh?! I wonder why he is asking people to write for a week on his blog.

Maybe he is out of stuff to write, maybe lot less to rant about because of minors, maybe he is too busy compiling rhymes like "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, hehehehehehehhe" (that really is one of his compositions) or maybe he is having a crisis with The One, after all The One seems to be spiraling out of control. Oh yeah, you guys aren't probably aware of how The One has been messing with things. Well to start with, the message controversy which may not have seemed to be a big boo-boo on the post "LAZY". Lazy my ass, he was so fucking quick with his fingers and daymm people, the aftermath talked about was a horrifyingly boring dumb conversation, which I fear now !! Then the next day, jackass Sticky was at my place with pArteek and nincompoop The One. The One fucking scratched me like a retarded chick and yet again he blamed his fetish fingers for the whole commotion. So you guys probably have an idea about how The One is slowly spiraling out of control and 'the Fack' he needs a nice clown glove spanking, I tell you!  Pat kar ke ek padna chahiye, but then again "With power comes responsibility".
Ahh... it feels good to write jhak at times, but I am not that type. So let’s just continue for a few more lines and then you shall be finished with this boring blog!!!
Now for the latest updates –

1) We have a new fourth sister in the making.

2) Love is too much in the air.

3) The fockin' Minors are killing the young lads slowly like the shards piercing Tony Stark's heart.

4) There is too much anxiousness around. SAVE ME!!!
Pretty sure you guys have no fucking clue to what all that was about but I leave that for PeeD, :P, to explain in his next posts. Maybe this will give him new ideas to write about. Sala bada chalak hai, khud ke pass kuch hai nahi likhne ko toh hamari jaan kha raha hai.

This might get me on The One's hit list and I shall have to do with a more not so cool, dumb, idiotic nickname, but whatever, I am too COOL (B|) and he is scared of my wrath, as I shall no longer pick him from his place if he does so. hehehahhahahahha.. \m/
Catch you later, kiddos!! Adios!! 

Immma Rant. Peedums :*- Grammar Queen

Grammar Queen. What do I say about her. To settle on her name was difficult purely because she is so multi-faceted. I do curse my luck not to have met her before, but am also grateful that I've met her at all. She likes taking people's cases, and doesn't shy away when confronted. A fun loving cuteface, she is a friend one who strive to befriend. Which is lucky for you, 'cause she is quite the gregarious girl.

And do not mess with her with Grammar and spellings, she'll whip yo ass!

The following is how she graced my blog. Bless her.

So Peedee asked me to write a guest blog for him tonight. I told him I didn’t know what to write about so he told me to just rant or write about lovey dovey stuff. Lovey dovey peedee? Really? I’m gonna make your ass regret asking me to write for you. Sorry Shaktiman.

As you should have figured by now, I’m going to rant. RANT. Why don’t I do that on my blog :\ …yeah I’m lazy.

Ever had one of those days when it feels like you’re at war with the world? and all you want to do is break everything around you and you know it takes all of your strength to not drive that pelmet rod through the TV . Even thinking about it makes me feel so much better. But not quite.

Great. So. Babies. I hate them. I hate babies. There you go Peedee, people hate you too now. Babies make me uncomfortable. They have these tiny fingers and stare with those creepy wide eyes and poop n pee.  What’s the big deal about them anyway? Why such a fuss ? ohmygod-that-baby-is-so-cute or that-is-the-most-beautiful-baby-I’ve-ever-seen. Honestly, all babies look the same. I can’t think of more than one baby face. They all have that one standard look, if you ask me. But then you don’t have to. I don’t even care. You can go all ohmygod-choo-ciuteeee on the next baby you see, for all I care.

Okay, so the baby outburst is because of the sudden additions to my family. It seems like all of my cousins are reproducing. The outcome of which is that I’m not the youngest in the family anymore and that sucks. But I guess I’ll just have to suck it up. And buy those babies cute little things and be the best Aunt they’ll ever know. (If I lose being the favourite of one generation to another generation, must conquer the latter generation instead.)

And you know what else makes me uncomfortable? Graduating in a couple of month. How did I get through the three years? I slept through it. Do I regret that now? Kind of. I probably would have liked to have met a few more people…spent more hours laughing…had more croissants and iced-teas…not ranted about college while in college. Probably. But, I guess it’s okay… I met a lot of amazing people, Peedee being one of them :*

That brings me to, Freaking out. Change does that to us. The first big change was the big leap from school to college. Now here’s my second significant leap. From college to B school. From Home to Hostel. Living away from Mumma for the first time in 20 years. I just received my joining instructions mail. I cried reading it… They want me to bring my own curtains and mosquito nets and what not! Why can’t I just get a job that pays me peanuts and stay at home? I’m freaking out because I’ve to leave home. More than that I’m freaking out because I’m still not sure or convinced whether B School is the right path for me. Even more than that I’m freaking out because I’m 20 and I still don’t have a clear picture of where I see myself 5 years from now. But I guess, I never will. And maybe I’m okay with that. I've never been a concrete planner… I just concentrate on one step at a time, for the purpose of staying calm, more than anything else. So this is going to be another step.  Maybe, someday I will find my way.

I’ll just round it up by telling you all how great I think Peedee’s blog is.  Has to be, Peedee is quite amazing and it’s been an honour to write for his awesomesauce blog!

Here’s a poem I wrote about Santa’s Little Helper, it also has the word fart, to make up for being so spiteful initially:

Santa’s little helper, Santa’s little helper!
Always causing a rise in Homer’s temper.
Marge’s beautiful hair and voice surreal
Will always remind you that home is here.
Bart, that boy, barfing and farting
With you always, even while barking.
Maggie and Lisa singing a song
Homer your homie even after a beer bong!

-Grammar Queen

Bye peedums. :*

Just Do It. - Alpha Sierra

Alpha Sierra is one of my closest brothers from other mothers. When I met him for the first time, I didn't have an impression of him. Though the English teacher did have one. He called him "Mushroom head" on the first day of class and the name stuck for what seemed to be eternity. But it didn't because of his penchant for extremely short shorts. It didn't help his case when I used to call out girls from other classes to take a fair view of his 'sexy legs'. A pretty brilliant footballer, a whole lot shy, generous and whipped kid that he is, you'll have wet dreams about him because he has managed to outgrow his mushroom hairdo and has grown into quite the gentleman. Now he has a badass name as well, but he'll still be the guy who I make fun of day in and day out, yet who has my back forever. Alpha Sierra reporting. 

PS: He writes funny.

I’m being forced to write this post for my friend. The only reason I’m doing this is because he would give me a really shit name if I don’t write this post for him. I still don’t get a deserving name but Alpha Sierra is the best I could get him to agree. To answer the question how I know Prateek would take a while, if it were a TV series it would run longer than HIMYM. I reference HIMYM as it amazing, funny and long. Unlike Prateek I don’t go on rants about everything, so this blog is a bit hard for me. In one of my recent interactions with The One he told me why girls get piercings, according to him two holes for a girl are not enough. My last conversation with Prateek was about the new Mercurial Vapor VIII (football boots) and how amazing they are, it helped Torres score so obviously they have something special about them.

I was going to end on the last paragraph but it seemed too short for Prateek. What Prateek doesn’t understand is that everyone doesn’t go on rants about their friends. When The (pretentious) One went through the first draft of my blog The One thought I was stupid, not that I completely disagree with him but still even the best make mistakes. After all I’m only human.

This is me signing off. さようなら, Hasta la vista, Alvida and goodbye!!

Ktnxbye. - Fingerboy

Before you read the post, I should tell you something about Fingerboy. He loves to finger his instrument. The keyboard, you vile creatures! I've known Fingerboy for the past 2 years, and he has often filled my life with stories about spinach, sleeping pills and his current 'sweet' flame who has whipped him under her control. This Utd scum, talented piece of potty is an asset to your group of friends, for he'll be more than a mate, he'll be a brah. He describes this blog as casual and entertaining. Yes, casual is what i was going for.

So this is his entry for the Guest Week. Enjoy. Enzzzoyyyy, he would say.

Shoooot! Damn..wide by a few inches. Steady Scholesy, steady!

Oh hai. Guest entry on PD's blog. Yay.

Whattay guy. But wait, why am I talking about him? He isn't that important. Let's talk about more worldly stuff. Stuff that the blog's about..ranting.  

Feel like ranting? Feeling shit about life? Someone hurt you? Someone doesn't live up to your expectations from them? Here's the first law of Colonel Big Chillingam : 'The number of "Oh bete" moments in your life will always be more than the "oh fuck/shit/damn" moments'. All it takes is a little bit of time everyday to surf stuff like 9GAG and/or ICanHazCheeseburger. Your awesomeness shall arise and you shall look at things in a more..er..condescending or indifferent way. Seriously, your life will improve. You don't have enough brains to focus on your life aims AND to think about the random bullshit coming your way. Trust me, you don't. We all make the mistake of over-thinking the most innocuous of stuff and ending up being a mess..well, at least for a while. As the amazingly handsome Rajat Sharma put it ever so brilliantly to almost every participant in Aap Ki Adaalat.. "The question is..do you want to?". You have the answer. Now go spend half an hour on 9gag. Oricanhazchesseburger.com. Or both.

Oh wait. If you actually want to over-think shit..then bro, tere saath kuch scene hai. 

Life throws shit at everyone..relax, sit back, watch this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfPS_9clwCc and feel good about yourself. And if anyone's talking crap at you, I shall let you in on the best answer ever. "It's K." Try it.

Kthxbai.

Freeloaded. - Late Bloomer

Howdy folks!

I am, as Prateek calls me, the Late Bloomer.

There is a story behind the tag late bloomer. I had no real friends in school and the only time I used to be surrounded by peers was the exam time when even slender acquaintances would approach me for help with study materials and teaching.  So, I disconnected from the mesh and would briefly connect at times for ‘business’. I had earned myself the tag of ‘snobby’ in school for my response would be too condescending and sophisticated to peers trying to pull me back into the network.

Even today, a valued acquaintance refused helping me because they had been drained out by asking me for help, which had been catered to immediately, just a few minutes ago. But this time I could neither careless nor was my response condescending to the valued acquaintance. In fact I even thanked them for advising me an alternate person to reach for help, all because of my true buddies-The One and MM, whom I met in college. All thanks to Prateek who introduced me to them.

The Late Bloomer is still in demand for his skills in academics and knows a lot of people who claim to be his friends for academic benefits. But amongst boisterous expectations of the pseudo friends I am lucky to know the two aforementioned idiots who expect nothing but me.

Well, what can I say about Prateek?  All of you read Prateek’s ‘rants’ and his excellent, inventive and to-the-point writing has earned him many admirers. The One, who rants about Prateek’s blog in college, has been infatuated. People, who keep themselves in a constant state of utter confusion, should read this blog which is witty and shares everyday common yet even experiences.

Reading the Rants is one of the most refreshing change of pace I experience and it has been a real treat to write for Prateek’s blog in the ‘Guest Week’.

Now, I have got to go and attend to a sudden surge of great warm feeling- a pizza box on my lap.

Adios.