It's been a long time coming.
The previous line serves two purposes that you shall read in the following paragraphs.
The first paragraph pertains to how lazy and unambitious I have been while writing this blog. Initially I started with a post a day kind of a deal, which slowly turned to 4 posts a week to a pregnant pause sort of a action.
Apologies for the same to the reader who reads this. A kick of the boot on my arse, if that gives you some compensation. And note to self: As the Asgardian Gods my witness, write a post at least thrice a week.
The second part is a bit more personal. 'So full of it' one might decipher out of it. but probably this post can be written once an year, so I'll take your criticism. Today is my birthday, or in Jehovah's witness terms, the day of my expulsion from a uterus. Yes, the second definition is creepy.
As the title says, I turn twenty. Twenty. A score, a modest innings of a tail-ender in cricket, a tetrahedral number, sum of three Fibonacci numbers, age of maturity in the Japanese culture, a popular game; Twenty questions, you have it all. Also, it's an International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking. Brilliant.
It all began exactly 20 years ago, 2 hours 10 minutes from when the clock strikes 12. And now, 2 hours 10 minutes short, the social norm and culture lists it as a birthday of mine. I'm not that cynical you know, but this has never been such a day of excitement of me personally. My mum loves birthdays, be it hers or anyone else's. It's a nice thing you know, being excited for your loved ones. But I have never had that feeling.
All these times, I have wondered my existence, the purpose of my living. And so far, I have never been close to finding it. But I believe, the real search starts now. I believe it's time for me to take things into perspective that has eluded me in the past, for it is necessary to walk in someone else's shoes, to look beyond the normal. I'm not talking about fantasies, about popular culture coming true, nothing of the sort. I search along what I have missed in these 20 years, experiences that could have changed the course of my life, the actions that could have had a butterfly effect on things I see around, the feeling of standing on my own legs . I have been fortunate to have parents, sister and friends who have supported me in times of need, in times of cheer and in times of despair.
I have been through a lot in terms of health, something that was totally unexpected but something that did reroute me to my original path. This experience of mine has been fruitful and resentful in ways I could have never thought, but was an experience that was unavoidable. It has taught me a lot in two years about how precious life is, how necessary it is to embrace what is most closest to you, and how to give up ambitions and 'settle' for something that might be better than the original Plan A.
I think this is enough of me for the day, and a beginning of a new chapter.
This has just been the prologue, Chapter 1 starts now.
I guess it's time to carry my own weight, for it has been a long time coming.
And the time has come.
